you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
