We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
