Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Randomize
