You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize