I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
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