i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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