No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize