nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
