Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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