We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
