you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
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