I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize