I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
did i just pee glitter
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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