i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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