weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
