I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Randomize