i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
it's great music for shaving your balls
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
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