my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
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