Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Randomize
