I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
