she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
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