you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Everything about him screamed your future.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Randomize
