i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
sarcasm needs its own font
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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