I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
