guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
