Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
