She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
we should paint friendship bongs
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
