There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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