Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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