Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize