apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
