Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Reggie can tackle my bush.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
