you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
