We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
