Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
