Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
