the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
