sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
