it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
