then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
