How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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