it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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