I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
