You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Randomize
