does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
