Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Randomize
