I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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