I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
