I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
whose ass print is on the piano?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
