What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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