have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
