D3 body, D1 cock
at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
even my farts smell like vagina
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
