it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
me + whiskey = a bad person
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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