I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
