Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
