So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
