I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
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