I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Randomize
