I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Fuck appropriateness.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize