hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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