she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
