Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I will pee on everything he values.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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