Got a toothbrush?
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Randomize
