standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Randomize
