Christians are straight up FREAKS
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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