I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
