Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
