you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize
