I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
