I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
