party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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