When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
